So if you don't know, they have never told me whether i was type one or two yet. i have been patiently waiting for two (long) months to find out. after leaving the hospital i had come to find out that the endo who had seen me in the hospital did not pass his boards (at least that's what my GP says) and he did not recommend i go see him ever again. so obviously i took his advice and he referred me two this other one near my house. i got an appointment that was a month in a half away from when i had originally got diagnosed.
Finally the day came, as i explained in one of my previous posts she didn't really have much to tell me. she looked at the blood work from the hospital and said there had been conflicting numbers, some said i have type one and others showed type two. so she requested i go get my blood drawn one more time and then see her back in two weeks.
The two weeks passed by slowly. i kept thinking about how nice it would be to be type two and possibly go on a pill and just control it with diet and exercise. And then i was also thinking type one (ugh i have to keep all these damn needles.) so when that morning came i was sitting at work kinda nervous, and part excited i couldn't wait till 1pm just to get out of work. i called my aunt and had asked her to come with me cause i didn't want to be alone to find out this news. (hopefully good news) so here we go, sitting in the room, waiting for her to come in, my heart is racing, (i don't know why the crazy anticipation) but i was ready to know the truth. well she looked over my blood work labs and TYPE ONE it is. however she did say for right now i am type 1.5. but she said that will go away and i will be type one for the rest of my life. so then she suggested the pump the pens the.....everything i had hoped for went away in one second. i guess no pill only needles and pumps and pens and all that stuff (for the rest of my life) the rest of the day went so slow, i kinda wanted to curl up in a ball and die right then. i guess i should never get my hopes up for anything ever again. lesson learned!!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Halloween.
Happy Halloween all.
Im spending mine sadly at work :( im here till 8pm so all the trick or treating will be over and done with by the time i get home. boo (and not the sound a ghost makes.)
I am currently planning my first vactaion since i was diagnosed. Im a little nervous but like ive said before this is not going to stop me from doing what i love. (like travleing) My boyfriend, joe and i are going to chicago in january. were taking a train from michigan there. im super excited. we already booked the hotel and will be booking the train very soon. anyway the biggest fear i have is something happening on the train where we get stuck or they have to de-ice the rails or something and i have no food...but im going to try to prepare by packing some stuff for on the train.
anyway i have another endo appointment on wednesday the second and hopefully she will tell me if im type one or two. (pray for two) i will let you know the verdict as soon as i find out.
Im spending mine sadly at work :( im here till 8pm so all the trick or treating will be over and done with by the time i get home. boo (and not the sound a ghost makes.)
I am currently planning my first vactaion since i was diagnosed. Im a little nervous but like ive said before this is not going to stop me from doing what i love. (like travleing) My boyfriend, joe and i are going to chicago in january. were taking a train from michigan there. im super excited. we already booked the hotel and will be booking the train very soon. anyway the biggest fear i have is something happening on the train where we get stuck or they have to de-ice the rails or something and i have no food...but im going to try to prepare by packing some stuff for on the train.
anyway i have another endo appointment on wednesday the second and hopefully she will tell me if im type one or two. (pray for two) i will let you know the verdict as soon as i find out.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
bitches, doctors and a new kitten
So let me start off by saying i think this post may be alot of venting. stuff i need to get off my chest.
i work full time in an office processing claims for auto glass. i have worked here for about 6 months. it was great at first. "i love this job" is what i used to catch myself thinking alot back when i first started. i have worked in retail since i was 16, and so this was new and cool. talking on the phone all day i loved it. our office is small (only 5 girls) so drama is bound to happen right. i guess i knew that. but i didnt know it would get this bad. let me start by telling you a little bit about the people i work with. one girl we will call her casey, is so drama filled, had a kid out of wedlock and her bf and her fight all the time hes a drug dealer and shes the only one who works in their family so lets just say her family is already fucked. (excuse the language) then theres gina who is gothic and creepy, shes married to a guy whos 12 years older then her and she has a kid also, shes a stuck up bitch who has only worked here for a year and a half and thinks she runs the place. shes miss perfect and cant do any wrong. and if you do something wrong you get a BIG note on your desk saying exactly what you did. (i know from expirence) next is marcy an older woman lots of health problems and she wont quit smoking. like really you cough all the time like you hacking up a lung and you still keep smoking wow. she coughs so loud i can barely hear my customers on the phone sometimes. and last is terri shes the supervisor, or not. she has no backbone and does not know how to run this place. she lets people walk all over her all the time. like really your the fucking supervisor and you dont want to deal with stuff so you ignore it and hope it goes away. ugh. i could run this place better then you and i have only been here for 6 months.
so the drama started recently and has gotten worse over time. today it had to do with casey and gina. they didnt get the days off they wanted for christmas and thanksgiving so they both threw a fit. and started requesting days off for next christmas like 2012. are you serious. like more then a year away. they act like they are 5 years old when they have to work days that they dont want to. ugh. so casey posted on facebook that she should get the days off that she wants cause she has a kid. what??? like none of our familys matter. just hers. mmk princess. theres so much more i could say but i dont think you all wanna read about work problems.
so next on the list of things to tell you. endocrineologist. went good, i still dont know if im type one or two yet. she gave me the pen needle instead of always having to use syringes. awesome. and she lowered my insulin dosage again. then i went to get my blood drawn and hmm that ended badly. i need to learn how to get over my fear of needles and blood and the doctors. you would think i would be over it. deff not. i almost passed out just getting this stupid blood draw. ugh. i have no clue what im gonna do if i ever get pregnant. seriously. anyway i went to see my general doc and he told me i have to lose 5lbs by the next time i see him. i feel like that should be easy but i need to get motivated and i have no idea how to do that.
oh i got a kitten. shes so precious. i named her maliboo. shes all white with blue eyes. shes 8 weeks old and so freakin cute. her and the dog dont get along yet. but im working on that.
well i think thats all i need to get out. oh one more thing R.I.P Aunt Kathleen (i miss you)
i work full time in an office processing claims for auto glass. i have worked here for about 6 months. it was great at first. "i love this job" is what i used to catch myself thinking alot back when i first started. i have worked in retail since i was 16, and so this was new and cool. talking on the phone all day i loved it. our office is small (only 5 girls) so drama is bound to happen right. i guess i knew that. but i didnt know it would get this bad. let me start by telling you a little bit about the people i work with. one girl we will call her casey, is so drama filled, had a kid out of wedlock and her bf and her fight all the time hes a drug dealer and shes the only one who works in their family so lets just say her family is already fucked. (excuse the language) then theres gina who is gothic and creepy, shes married to a guy whos 12 years older then her and she has a kid also, shes a stuck up bitch who has only worked here for a year and a half and thinks she runs the place. shes miss perfect and cant do any wrong. and if you do something wrong you get a BIG note on your desk saying exactly what you did. (i know from expirence) next is marcy an older woman lots of health problems and she wont quit smoking. like really you cough all the time like you hacking up a lung and you still keep smoking wow. she coughs so loud i can barely hear my customers on the phone sometimes. and last is terri shes the supervisor, or not. she has no backbone and does not know how to run this place. she lets people walk all over her all the time. like really your the fucking supervisor and you dont want to deal with stuff so you ignore it and hope it goes away. ugh. i could run this place better then you and i have only been here for 6 months.
so the drama started recently and has gotten worse over time. today it had to do with casey and gina. they didnt get the days off they wanted for christmas and thanksgiving so they both threw a fit. and started requesting days off for next christmas like 2012. are you serious. like more then a year away. they act like they are 5 years old when they have to work days that they dont want to. ugh. so casey posted on facebook that she should get the days off that she wants cause she has a kid. what??? like none of our familys matter. just hers. mmk princess. theres so much more i could say but i dont think you all wanna read about work problems.
so next on the list of things to tell you. endocrineologist. went good, i still dont know if im type one or two yet. she gave me the pen needle instead of always having to use syringes. awesome. and she lowered my insulin dosage again. then i went to get my blood drawn and hmm that ended badly. i need to learn how to get over my fear of needles and blood and the doctors. you would think i would be over it. deff not. i almost passed out just getting this stupid blood draw. ugh. i have no clue what im gonna do if i ever get pregnant. seriously. anyway i went to see my general doc and he told me i have to lose 5lbs by the next time i see him. i feel like that should be easy but i need to get motivated and i have no idea how to do that.
oh i got a kitten. shes so precious. i named her maliboo. shes all white with blue eyes. shes 8 weeks old and so freakin cute. her and the dog dont get along yet. but im working on that.
well i think thats all i need to get out. oh one more thing R.I.P Aunt Kathleen (i miss you)
Friday, October 14, 2011
Im learning how to accept this. even tho i would love to live a normal life. this is what i have to do.
and im ready to deal with whatever it throws my way.
i have my first endo appointment next tuesday and im nervous. not sure what to expect. hoping for all good news. anyway on a more personal note, life is good. i have learned to love it more now. appreciate everything and i am planning my first vacation to chicago with diabetes. i know i will be okay. my blood sugar actually has been pretty stable. ive been right in the normal range and occasionly drop a little lower then i should.
i will let you know how the dr app goes.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Staying positive
Im keeping my head up as much as i can. In my mind it doesnt make sense and when im alone, thats when my thoughts start coming. the "why me's?" and stuff like that. but when im with people they sometimes ask questions and i like that. it makes me feel like people actually do care. and sometimes i dont know all the answers but no one does right?
i have been focused alot on photography lately. its a new passion and hobby for me. it helps distract my mind and helps me focus on the beautiful things in life. My boyfriend, joe and i went to a cider mill yesterday and walked this beautiful trail that follows a river. it was so pretty and i got lots of awesome pictures (i will post them later.) after lots of convinceing joe gave in and let me eat a donut it was way yummy! and it really didnt spike my BS at all.
i have realized that somedays its harder then others. somedays i wake up in tears and others i fall asleep with them. sometimes i can push the needle right in others i gotta talk myself into actually doing it. but i always know i have alot of people here to support me and help me through this crazy journey (including my wonderful boyfriend) and once again i want to thank each and everyone of them. i dont know how i would do this without you! (and i know i may get repetitive by saying that but i dont know how else to show everyone i appreciate everything they do for me)
i have been focused alot on photography lately. its a new passion and hobby for me. it helps distract my mind and helps me focus on the beautiful things in life. My boyfriend, joe and i went to a cider mill yesterday and walked this beautiful trail that follows a river. it was so pretty and i got lots of awesome pictures (i will post them later.) after lots of convinceing joe gave in and let me eat a donut it was way yummy! and it really didnt spike my BS at all.
i have realized that somedays its harder then others. somedays i wake up in tears and others i fall asleep with them. sometimes i can push the needle right in others i gotta talk myself into actually doing it. but i always know i have alot of people here to support me and help me through this crazy journey (including my wonderful boyfriend) and once again i want to thank each and everyone of them. i dont know how i would do this without you! (and i know i may get repetitive by saying that but i dont know how else to show everyone i appreciate everything they do for me)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Only time will tell
i have been noticing a trend, everyday after lunch my BS drops way low. i believe that my body is producing more insulin at that time of day. After my extremely low blood sugar episode that happened the other day we called the doctor. and waited for his response to see if i can lower my lunch dosage. thankfully he did and so now im taking 4 units in the morning 6 units at lunch and 8 at dinner, then 28 units of lantus before i go to bed. my doctor says im not ready to get on the pill yet so hopefully soon i can be. i just gotta keep getting my dosage lowered. and then that means no more shots for me!!!(fingers crossed)
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